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Era: The Rift Riders

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Era: The Rift Riders
GrooveMan.exe Offline
BEATS IN BEATS IN BEATS
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Posts: 4,150
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#3
06-15-2008, 04:27 PM
"MAKE HER STOP CRYING!" wailed Xalex. He isn't used to seeing children cry (mainly because I don't cry...much..).

It saddens me that the fist line of the work is what made me not want to read anymore... What really ticked me off was the random person change (from 3rd to 1st), and the terrible use of ellipses.

Please tell me the rest isn't like that.
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Messages In This Thread
RE: Era: The Rift Riders - by GrooveMan.exe - 06-15-2008, 04:27 PM
RE: Era: The Rift Riders - by GrooveMan.exe - 06-15-2008, 05:11 PM
RE: Era: The Rift Riders - by mors ontologica - 06-16-2008, 08:26 AM
RE: Era: The Rift Riders - by GrooveMan.exe - 06-16-2008, 11:24 AM
RE: Era: The Rift Riders - by mors ontologica - 06-16-2008, 06:14 PM
RE: Era: The Rift Riders - by mors ontologica - 06-21-2008, 05:43 PM

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