Well, you can't take their wording personally (and rewording it will only make them not want to help), as that causes problems. that's how all artists get better, they eat the tough critique and it shows that they aren't wimpy, if you know what I mean. It'll take some practice, but try not to let it bother you because they are just trying to help you. Believe me, I know. 
The art would look better if you practiced making the outlines and inlines smoother and such. I think it's not that bad, just gotta keep going at it! Don't give up.
The art would look better if you practiced making the outlines and inlines smoother and such. I think it's not that bad, just gotta keep going at it! Don't give up.